What could be worse than the Maria Miller scandal?

So Maria Miller has finally stepped down/been sacked/whatever over he expenses claims. Now while the committee cleared her something stank about it all. The Leveson mentions, the PPC car crash actions and her lack of cooperation with the investigation. However something far more damaging has happened. Michael Fabricant has been sacked as the party vice chairman.

Most political tweeters know who Fabbers is. Liked by more "enemies" than any other MP on twitter he actually engages with people. Replying to many tweets and enjoying more than his fair share of twanks. Plus his constantly changing array of Fabatars are a wonder to behold. Most of all people respect him for his honest opinion, regardless of the party line Fabbers speaks his mind.

Now, according to the man himself he was sacked for his thoughts on Maria Miller (obviously) and his stance on HS2.

Been asked to resign as Vice Chairman, refused, so sacked over HS2 and my views on a recent Cabinet Minister. Still available 4 speeches etc
— Michael Fabricant (@Mike_Fabricant) April 9, 2014

Just in case he deletes it: "Been asked to resign as Vice Chairman, refused, so sacked over HS2 and my views on a recent Cabinet Minister. Still available 4 speeches etc"

Let's cover these issues separately. Maria Miller stepping down was big news, with as much anger about her attitude as her expenses. I have a feeling she was nudged by the top brass to make that decision, either way Fabbers was right when he said "about time". 

But perhaps the bigger issue was HS2. This is a thorny issue for the government, Labour are playing games over it and there will be a back bench rebellion, a loss is on the cards. With his public opposition to it Fabbers upset the leadership.

He has been speaking to people about their concerns and making proposals to amend the route but they have fallen on deaf ears. So in his usual open and honest way he said he was left woth "no choice" but to vote against it. 

So Mr Cameron what kind of party do you want? Would you like more open and honest people like Fabbers? Or do you want to become like ukip, where deviation from the dear leader Farage must be punished?

I know one thing, until Michael Fabricant gets a senior position in the party or government then the Tories have lost my vote. Politics needs more open, honest and charming people like him. 

Supporting someone unpopular is one thing, sacking someone people like is beyond stupid.

The SNP don't want independence

Nicola Sturgeon was at her blustering best on Daily Politics and refusing to answer questions and also making veiled threats that an independent Scotland wouldn't take it's share of the national debt unless they get the currency union with Sterling. Well as with all SNP interviews she was made to look like a total fool by Andrew Neil.

David Cameron played a blinder when he refused the "devo max" option on the vote, forcing the straight yes or no question. With every passing week the SNP appear like teenagers threatening to leave home. You might think they are gone but they seem to eat your food, drink your drink and come to you whenever anything goes wrong.

If you want independence then you must be independent, that's it, no ifs or buts. Using Sterling with the B of E as lender of last resort is not independent. Equally the rest of the UK population might have something to say about that, after all the Euro currency union has worked so well. Surely we all get a vote on such an arrangement, or do the SNP think it right to dictate to England and Wales? Too much hard earned money flows north of the border as it is, if they want independence then I don't want my pennies insuring a socialist nutters spending.

But this whole "bullying" line peddled by the SNP is political. Salmond's rhetoric has always been about English people dictating from an English parliament, stirring up what amounts to racism in the search of votes. That's why he wants to debate David Cameron. Cameron would tear him to shreds in any intellectual debate but every answer would be met with a rabble rousing response. 

"Of course I want independence Geppetto"

I'm actually half Scottish and very proud of that fact. The behavior of some of the yes campaign is disgusting, when, like me, you have always identified yourself as a proud Brit it's actually painful to start supporting the campaign for them to leave the UK. But I do, not like the SNP do but because I feel a bit "you want it, fine, have it, good luck". Then watch as in 20 to 30 years there economy is wrecked and we have to shore up the border because of economic migrants (in my story we are no longer in the EU).

But I don't think the SNP want it. They would much rather keep the hated English money pouring in so they can afford all the free NHS prescriptions and tuition fees they like without having to worry about the financial consequences.

On performances like yesterday's though I fear we are stuck with them,

Well flood me!

It's all been happening while I have been away.  Sorry for the lack of blogs, I shall explain at some point but in short I have been having a tough time and found myself unable to write or care about anything. But I am back, let us have some fun.

The big news at the moment is the floods, I wouldn't worry, the people who tell you that the world will boil said we would have an arctic winter. It will arrive soon I am sure and we can all go skating in the west country.

There has been some point scoring and mud slinging but i wanted to make some points of my own about some of the contentious issues.

David Cameron's flood visits

Of course he should go, he is the PM after all and has a significant role in the response to these floods. I must also commend him on the silencing of Eric Pickles. Now is not the time for the blame game, now is the time for supporting hard hit areas in the best way possible. A review of who/what policy caused the problem can come when everyone is back in their homes.

Ed Miliband's flood visit

Pointless, totally pointless, and good on Alok Sharma for calling him out on it.

http://www.getreading.co.uk/news/local-news/reading-west-mp-alok-sharma-6694413

If, as Ed claims, he wants to "work together" why not arrange a meeting with Alok in advance? Surely through the network of Labour party activists & trade union links they could summon up some volunteers to get their hands dirty and help. The same applies to all politicians, unless your actual ministerial job means you need to do something then don't pitch up for a photo op without doing something to help.

Wellies & waterproofs

The fact that Nigel Farage had a dirty set of waders on doesn't make him a "man of the people", christ I don't own a pair of wellies (you try finding a decent, affordable pair in size 14), does that make me out of touch with the common man? As I understand it Farage likes to go fishing, waders explained.

Blame

The people affected are blaming the environment agency, the current government or the previous one and they all have a differing case to answer for. But nobody seems to blame the rainfall, the worst in over 100 years. I suspect that even with perfect management of the rivers and flood defences this would have been a flood year.

If you build on a flood plain expect floods from time to time. However the warning signs have been in place with previous floods, the environment agency, which rated it's flood preparation as excellent, has some questions to answer here.

Good luck to all effected by the floods.

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Rufus Hound wants you to die in a pool of your own piss

The NHS was in absolute crisis when the coalition came to power. Not that you could talk about it though, Labour had made the NHS a religion, to say anything negative, regardless of its failings, would an act of blasphemy. Mid Staffs was the result of this perfect storm of an above critique monopoly, whistle blowers scared to come out, a government (Labour) hushing up bad news for political reasons and no accountability.

Rufus Hound thinks this is how the NHS should be run, an unaccountable monopoly where it doesn't matter what service people get because they can't afford anything else. What he wants, unless you're rich, you know the kind of person who's family could afford to privately educate their children, if that you die of dehydration in a bed, laying in your own excrement and urine, as long as it's a bed that is untouched by the private sector.

Thing is Rufus thinks that Mid Staffs was caused by a few bad eggs, not a systematic failure of the structure in place.

Of course some of them screw up from time to time – sometimes with tragic results – but that’s because they’re human beings. Fallible human beings. And if you employ over a million of them, (as the NHS does), mistakes will be made. 

He has also proved his lefty credentials by quoting a "fact" without supporting evidence to link it up. Actually it screams of a lift from a "Dr" Eoin Clarke list that he later had to apologise for. 

It’s also the most cost effective health care system in the world. For every pound spent on the NHS, it returns a value of five times that to the economy.

Oh lets not forget the classic "It’s ours, not theirs" comment. Well what about those that support the NHS reforms? I earn less than the national average, hardly a member of the evil rich and I fully support it. 

Private companies working within the NHS can do brilliant things and actually increase the services available to us. I had an operation in 2012 and part of the process was an MRI scan that a private company did. They had fitted out an HGV with the scanner and equipment. Parking up at the hospital they see all the minor cases, leaving the hospital scanner for more complex issues, meaning I got seen much sooner. 

Mid Staffs, Hound thinks this is acceptable 

An element of competition can help as well, monopolies don't have to worry about how well they provide a service, not like you have any other choice. Remember the stories of how long it took to get a phone line before it was privatised? Do you want that service in healthcare?

Ultimately I think people will realise that it doesn't matter how universal health care is delivered, as long as it is. But imagine if Rufus was to get what he wanted. At least when his wife died of MRSA from a routine bunion operation he could take comfort in the fact it was in a fully public NHS.

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P.S. Worth noting that he just happens to be getting big publicity at the exact same time he needs to sell tickets to a show he is in. A coincidence I am sure.

Lenin quotes and Labour

There's a brilliant article on Backbencher this morning with a selection of Lenin's most chilling quotes. We all know the left love this man, he's a socialist hero.

The quotes make for scary reading on their own but then I noticed something in them. Labour's policies and actions since 1997 seem to match up with some of the quotes.

“Give me four years to teach the children and the seed I have sown will never be uprooted.”

Ever notice how so many of the young that were educated under Labour are socialist wannabes? Since then the unions have been trying to get propaganda into schools. You might suggest that the unions aren't Labour, under Ed Miliband they most definitely are.

“We can and must write in a language which sows among the masses hate, revulsion, and scorn towards those who disagree with us.”

The left don't just disagree with the right, they froth at the mouth in rage at our mere presence. We don't have different ideologies, we are evil.

“The bourgeoisie is many times stronger than we. To give it the weapon of freedom of the press is to ease the enemy’s cause, to help the class enemy. We do not desire to end in suicide so we will not do this.”

Their conduct over Leverson showed how much they hate a free press.

“A lie told often enough becomes the truth.”

WMD's anyone. Also the lies about immigration they so often told.

“The way to crush the bourgeoisie is to grind them between the millstones of taxation and inflation.”

Bankers taxes, mansion tax (Lib Dem idea supported by Labour), council tax increases the list goes on.

“One man with a gun can control 100 without one.”

Handgun ban.

“There are no morals in politics; there is only expedience. A scoundrel may be of use because he is a scoundrel.”

Alastair Campbell, Damian McBride, Tom Watson, Len McKluskey, Ed Balls. I could go on but you get the idea.

“It is true that liberty is precious; so precious that it must be carefully rationed.”

Labour gradually eroded our privacy while in power through several new laws.

“He who now talks about the “freedom of the press” goes backward, and halts our headlong course towards socialism.”

Leverson again.

“Treat the Jews and urban inhabitants in the Ukraine with an iron rod, transferring them to the front, not letting them into government agencies (except in an insignificant percentages, in particularly exceptional circumstances).”

To put this another way, how many right wingers work in the public sector? Those who do are almost scared to admit their political leanings.

“We shall not bind ourselves by treaties. We shall not allow ourselves to be entangled by treaties.”

For treaty read manifesto. Labour's last big promise was a say on the EU constitution, they didn't give us it.

“It is necessary -  secretly and urgently to prepare the terror.”

Constant terror alerts, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, the list goes on. Keep them scared to keep them under control.

Scary stuff isn't it. Lets hope they don't get in again.

Lord Rennard, a victim of mob rule

I may be alone in this but I am sat here feeling sorry for Lord Rennard. What he has been accused of is indeed disgusting but as it stands they are merely accusations, nothing more. But that doesn't matter in cases such as this and given the clusterfuck that was the Sally Bercow and the late Lord McAlpine twitter scandal you think people would learn.

But no, people's minds are made up it seems and Lord Rennard was yesterday suspended from his party. This is a disturbing development to me, showing that mob justice can claim someone's head. Lets look over some core facts.

• The police did not even find enough evidence to pass on a file to the CPS
• The internal party investigation didn't find him guilty
• Yesterday he was suspended for not apologising for events that the police and the party didn't take action over or didn't believe happened

Seems stupid doesn't it, imagine it was you and your job. Accused of sexual harassment, police say there isn't enough evidence and HR clear you as well yet pressure from the marketing department means you get fired. You would be fuming wouldn't you, well, that's why Rennard is angry and may sue. Good for him.

For all the people who say "there's no smoke without fire" need to grow up. We live in a society that judges people by "innocent until proven guilty", it's how you would want to be judged, you should apply that to everyone else. At this moment in time Rennard is an innocent man.

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Ukip didn't care about his views before, why now?

David Silvester is a loon, so Ukip perhaps his natural political choice. I don't actually think he is a looney for his opinion that same sex marriage is wrong, or even that God is seeking vengeance in some way for them. The most stupid thing he did was to make such opinions public, you're a politician David, what were you thinking?

You are perfectly entitled to believe what you like but seriously, given your position you should realise what isn't acceptable to the general public. Still this shows up a problem for Ukip and their "recruiting" policy. One of the kippers favourite statistics is how many Tory Councillors have defected to them. Farage practically creams his pants whenever he mentions such a number, well, one of this number bit him in the arse in spectacular fashion. The warnings were there though.

"I wrote to David Cameron in April 2012 to warn him that disasters would accompany the passage of his same-sex marriage bill."

So how much did Ukip know of this letter? Did they even ask why he defected or is it Ukip policy to roll out the welcome mat to anyone who wants to switch teams regardless of why. Well a cursory visit to Google would have revealed the answer, Pink News had a copy.

They new at the time this is what he believed in yet happily took him in and essentially the only thing that's changed is that those thoughts are now well publicised. Seems a bit disingenuous of them to suspend him now, almost as if publicity comes before morals in Ukip, who would have thunk it.

Ukip, most definitely not the grumpy old man's party

As a result I am not without sympathy for David, given they took him in knowing full well his thoughts he must be shocked to get suspended for those exact same opinions. But most of all, given the many other kippers with, lets say, sketchy views that seem to slip past the party checks how can you trust the Ukip candidate you vote for?

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PMQ's Bingo!

Ok, this may seem like a lazy blog but I assure you I have spent ages on this. Le Creuset Fiend can verify as I pestered him for help near the end. Funny how the last few bits you need are the toughest, thanks pal.

So the result of all this hard work, why it's PMQ's bingo of course. Although for those of a James Turner Street disposition you can use the cards as a drinking game. The PDF document below contains 30 randomly generated layouts of 25 squares from a list of 35 phrases, actions or things to spot during a round of PMQ's. It's become a parody of itself so we should at least have some fun.

Download your copy of PMQ's bingo here

It's in Google drive so will see it loaded and can then download should you wish (Arrow at the top left). The full list of possible squares is below along with a sample card image. Enjoy your games everyone, let me know how you do.

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Tax cut for millionaires
Bankers
Union pay masters
middle class
EU Referendum
Piece of paper passed to front bench (either side)
MP asks about an actual local issue
Out of touch
Recovery for the few/rich
Bercow butts in
Banker’s bonus
Cameron tells a bad joke
Spot a pink tie in the chamber
MP asks if the PM agrees
Weak (when aimed at Ed M)
Posh
Cameron doesn't answer a question
Hardworking people
Cuts
MP stops mid Q for quiet & doesn't get it
Cost of living crisis
Ed balls does a hand gesture & gets mocked
Any reference to private education
Ed Mili says "Mr Speaker" 3X before comment
Immigration good
Ed tells a bad joke
Speaker says "Order" 3x in a row
Bercow cuts off PM during response to a question
Food banks
Not standing up to unions
Badly read planted question
Immigration bad
A social media account is mentioned
One Nation
Recovery

Boro Taxis, I salute you

Diversity and equality laws are a tricky thing for some businesses to navigate. Sometimes, however hard you may try, some things just aren't practical for people of a certain disability, blind airline pilots for example. And sometimes the only way to accommodate a disability  is expensive and may end up costing more for the disabled person. Just a fact of life sadly, I have size 14 feet and have to get them online (mostly), they cost more than shop brought shes for smaller sizes, I can deal with it or get cold feet.

Teesside's biggest taxi company, Boro Taxis, has announced they will not take disabled people anymore. Now before you froth at the mouth it isn't that simple. This isn't actually about disabled people as such, in fact the very laws designed to protect them, and those enforcing, have let them down badly.

When you order a taxi you order a taxi, the vehicle you travel in. Say you order a car, for one or for 4 you pay the same. If you order a mini bus you pay the mini bus rate, again this matters not how many people you put in it. Now a wheelchair needing a mini bus pays the mini bus rate for single occupancy. The larger vehicle costs considerably more to run so unless they do the driver will lose out.

Well apparently this is discrimination, the taxi company has been told it is breaking the law to charge the mini bus rate for using the mini bus. The council say this is overcharging for disabled passengers so the company may lose it's license, aside from any legal threat. Faced with the option of committing a crime or losing money they have decided to withdraw the service.

The company admits that refusing them is "morally totally wrong" but it isn't worth losing money over, and they are right. If the council want to put on cheap transport for disabled people then they should do it, not bully a private company into doing it for them at a loss.

Kudos for them for standing up for their rights.

UPDATE: They have capitulated, that old friend of the right on left, the threatened boycott, has made them throw in the towel. It isn't fair to force a business to lose money in this way, although I suspect something craftier may be in action. I mean what if every time a wheelchair user phones to book there are no mini buses available. Would be shockingly bad luck that.

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The art of trolling

The word "Troll" has been been thrown around by the media and the easily offended as the term for someone who trows abuse at someone else. Bollocks, abusers are abusers, end of. A troll is someone who makes others look stupid, no abuse required at all. The most effective method seems to be the parody/spoof account. The aim is to make people think it is real with an outrageous statement at then let the abuse come in from people that think you are real. It's been a vintage weekend for three such twitter accounts.

@IDS_MP

A legend of the game who had a slow Saturday but came back strong on Sunday.

Israel has announce 15,000 Palestinians are to be relocated to make way for Ariel Sharon's burial plot.
— Iain Duncan Smith MP (@IDS_MP) January 12, 2014

The man pulling the IDS strings noticed a RT, seems he was trying to create an international incident.

I may be starting a war. Lol pic.twitter.com/sYf5Z6O2uJ
— Lord Skip Licker VC (@Skip_Licker) January 12, 2014

But the IDS account is now so masterful and it's victims so stupid anything he posts gets treated as if he were real.

Radical Cleric @anjemchoudary is upset with this picture. So please do not retweet it. Thank you pic.twitter.com/OyxSEwssU1
— Iain Duncan Smith MP (@IDS_MP) January 12, 2014

If would take someone extra special to fall for that wouldn't it.

@IDS_MP @anjemchoudary while I oppose his views in the strongest possible terms, I do expect better behaviour from a cabinet minister #fail
— sara griffin (@dubac0) January 12, 2014

@IDS_MP @anjemchoudary this is what passes for intelligent political debate these days is it? Career politicians you've gotta love 'em
— Ian Baskerville (@conansdog) January 12, 2014

 Another political one how with @HonestChuka

It's hard to imagine someone pretending to be Chuka could be as much of a git as the real one, but he tries his best.

@HonestChuka typical labour leeching. Can't you come up with something new. You people think the nation are thick. Grow up Chuka
— Phil howe (@how4now) January 11, 2014

@HonestChuka if you want votes try condeming gun crime. Your support of this is an abhorrence.
— Patch (@Patchbug) January 11, 2014

Some of the best moments are when the penny drops and people realise what they have done.

@HonestChuka @NotSoBigBrother @skorzeny_lives it must be the ex squaddie in me lol thanks guy's "I'm a cunt"
— Can of Worms (@canofworms2013) January 11, 2014

@bunnyrabble @HonestChuka Oh damn. I should have read back further than his last two tweets.
— Lenin Dunham (@MrDuttonPeabody) January 12, 2014

Finally a recent one made to take advantage of recent events, @DugganTrust

 Given the emotions around this case catching the little idiots was perhaps a bit easy, add in the vigil and it was open season on prats.

@DugganTrust that my friends is tantamount to inciting a riot. Very irresponsible.
— Paul Ward (@WardHot) January 11, 2014

 Some people thought it was real and supported it.

I understand & appreciate the work that the @DugganTrust are doing, but do they really have to use an avatar of him making a 'pistol hand' ?
— John O'Connell (@jdpoc) January 11, 2014

Even hooking that well know racist Lee Jasper.

I just won twitter @Skip_Licker pic.twitter.com/hqWeA99IIS
— The Duggan Trust (@DugganTrust) January 11, 2014

So the next time someone uses "Troll" as an insult remember this and correct them. Oh and if you are a evil bugger then RT or play along with these accounts and watch as they attract morons like moths to a fuckwit flame.

I can only put a few on here so look at the accounts, their favourites and replies, it's worth it.

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Ukip, I have a theory

Ukip's "Dear Leader" was hammering away on twitter with the usual, over used, phrases yesterday. My favourite one being that there is no difference between Labour and the Tories. Get yourself down to Specsavers Nigel, or drink less because there are plenty, unless you just don't want there to be. The big one, as far as Ukip's main aim is concerned is that the Tories will give us a vote on the EU, Labour wont.

The kippers reacted quickly when Cameron pledged the vote on membership in 2017 if the Tories win the next election, obviously fearing that removing their main aim would be disaster for them. What they may fear most is that the UK would prefer to remain in the EU if it was about free trade and not the vast bureaucratic superstate it is becoming. In short in the EU, not controlled by it. But why does his holiness Farage seem so angered by the Tory pledge? I have some theories.

Doesn't really want out

For the very cynical among you this is one thought that I personally don't believe but can see why people do. In 2009 he received 2 million pounds on top of his salary which is over £60k. He barely turns up, much like his party colleagues, and when he was on the fisheries committee he didn't show up at all in 2011. He gets all the public attention his ego requires while pocketing a big salary and telling us all how horrible it is.

Hates David Cameron

Farage has a massive ego, dissent must not be tolerated within Ukip. Some high profile (and others less so) party removals in 2013 made that clear. So how does he feel about the leader of the Tories commenting on him and his party? Not well at all it turns out. In a rather pathetic attempt to get Cameron ousted he said he would be able do do a deal with Boris Johnson or Michael Gove but not him. He is less interested in giving the UK a choice on the EU than he is over a pissing contest, grow up!

Wants the glory

Say the Tories win in 2015, then Cameron gets all the powers back from the EU he wants and the vote happens. Whatever the result Farage and Ukip will not get the credit for delivering it. Sure they will crow all they like but unless he has a seat in the house Farage can't ride in on his steed and proclaim it was Ukip wot won it. That of course just wouldn't do.

Notice how the running theme is the mighty ego of Nigel Farage, not a shock is it.

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The Ranty Pantz Awards 2013

Everyone is doing them so why not me. before I break for Christmas I thought I would pay homage to the great and good of politics, twitter and whoever else I feel like. So lets find out who wins a Pantzy.

Troll of the year

To clarify to all you idiots out there a troll isn't someone who sends abuse. A proper troll makes people look stupid without using any abuse at all. Honourable mentions to Old Holborn, who the Daily Mail called "one of Britain's vilest internet trolls" and the Iain Duncan Smith MP parody twitter account who hooks more morons per tweet than anyone else I know.

Heeeeeey macarena!

But this years winner trolled one of the worlds most powerful men, a global icon (all be it deceased), a nation, a half full stadium and millions watching on television. Yes it's Thamsanqa Jantjie, he of the crazy hands sign language school. The excuses since are gold, we should all up our game to match his effort.

The Jack Dromey award for twitter proficiency

This award goes to the person most messing up their use of twitter and humiliating themselves. The @Number10gov was found to be following escorts, Jack Dromey himself appears to like big black male poultry. Even Sally Bercow misses out for her "oops" tweet because the winner displayed stupidity beyond all reasonable measure.  

Not by a long shot. Epicurious are a New York based food website and decided to use the Boston marathon bombing to sell some scones! If there was a "face-palm moment of the year" they would double up their total.

Scones mend broken bones

Ed Balls moment of the year

Good old Ed Balls, he keeps the good times coming for those who love to mock him. If spitting image were still around his puppet would probably just act the same. He is a man of many hand gestures and many many cock ups. However his best (for us anyway) moments came at the end of this year. Just this week in PMQ's David Cameron pulled off a funny, no really it was very good. Quipping at Ed Miliband after Ball revealed a new dance move he said.

HE'S GONNA BLOW!

‘Ah! We’ve got a new hand gesture from the Shadow Chancellor! I’d have thought after today’s briefing in the papers the hand gesture from the Shadow Chancellor would be ‘bye bye’! You don’t need it to be Christmas to know you’re sitting next to a turkey.’

But the winner came in the autumn statement when he got so flustered by the good economic news and heckling, that he likes to dish out so much, he lost the plot. A picture paints a thousand words.

The Penny Red award for most pathetic femenazi

Big call this one, big big call with so many candidates. I have judged it on use of rather sad hashtags, hypocrisy and victim mentality. An honorable mention to Stella Creasy who hits home on hashtags but fails to win thanks to her campaigning on FGM. FGM isn't a feminist issue, it's barbaric but not many seem interested. Like the winner for example.

Caroline Criado-Perez campaigned to have a woman on a banknote, forgetting that there is a woman on every banknote printed in the UK as it is. She received death threats (I condemn them, but really, men  on twitter get them every day, block and move on like they do) and because of this anyone, I mean anyone, who disagrees with her is labelled as some kind of woman hating scum. I would have more respect if she wanted to tackle serious issues like FGM.

Independent non commercial blog of the year

Just to clarify this rules out anyone with Google ads or such like running and is judged purely by how much I enjoy them. I saw a tweet once that said "When @Skip_Licker stops being a cunt he writes some beautiful stuff" (can't remember exactly but the gist is the same). His blog Words by me is often very moving and draws on his past as a soldier in the British forces. Another interesting one is by @rhmgroo who on Old School Bulgaria is documenting his journey to emigrate. Full of tips and troubles it is a must for anyone thinking of moving overseas to start a new life. He also has the finest beard on twitter.

But I am a huge fan of the winner and have been for a while, in fact it was his blog that inspired me to start my own. @Battsby is, quite simply, a legend. As at ease with delicate, poetic prose as he is at insightful analysis of social issues with just a hint of grumpy old bastard to be funny and not irritating. A well deserved Pantzy for When I'm King.

Putting the world to rights

Best tweeting MP of the year

Our last award goes to the MP making best use of twitter. William Hague is one of my favourites. It is of course a strictly business account with information about his role in the FCO and the usual "look at blah blah blah" tweets you see the inters send while the boss does something. However his Q & A sessions are fantastic, even being honest on overseas aid. Charlotte Leslie while not a prolific tweeter does so in a casual way, not overly preened by social media bandits. But there was a clear winner.

Michael Fabricant is by quite some margin my favourite tweeting MP. From his brilliant array of "fabatars" to making twanking cool he does what no other MP seems to be able to match, he makes us like him, even people who hate the Tory party have expressed fondness towards the man from Lich Vegas. I can't think of a better way to end the 2013 awards.

The latest Fabatar

Thank you for reading and congratulations to all the winners, you thoroughly deserve your Pantzy awards. I look forward to seeing you all again in the new year.

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Cyclists aren't blameless and it's time they realised that

I used to have to cycle to work, 7 miles each way. I had my accident coming home from work one day when the road was being resurfaced. It was in that scratched up state with a few raised points along the road. I was almost home when I looked over my shoulder to see nothing, signaled anyway, looked left one last time as I went across and then WHAM! I got hit from the right on the side of the road the only danger should have been on the left. I picked myself up, they drove off. 

I share this to establish that I am not an anti cycling nut job, defusing part of the argument against me before someone even tries it. The number of deaths in London recently has made the news and cyclist safety is a key issue in the capital. But it feels like one suggestion  is off the table, telling cyclists to change their behavior.

Much like drivers, cyclists and their attitude vary, but as a percentage of cars and cyclists I see those on two wheels making risks much more often. I have myself been hit by a cyclist going through a red light, it hurt, but not as much as his face after I gently caressed it with my fist. Weaving through traffic, red light jumping, talking on the phone, no high vis when needed, poor lights and the biggest sin of all, stopping down the left hand side of a lorry (or other very large vehicle) at a junction.

You are asking for trouble in that situation, how often do you hear of this kind of accident? Every time you hear people ask what can be done to the lorry to stop it happening, padding, side bars, different mirrors. Here is a novel idea, try not being in a dangerous place to start with. Surely the easiest thing to stop this happening is for cyclists to realise that lorries have massive blind spots so not to go there in the first place. 

Why take the risk?

I'm not saying that the improvements to the lorries shouldn't happen but come on guys, look at the whole picture. Perhaps a cycling proficiency is needed for cycling in the capital, with practical and theory. A small charge to cover the cost and some profit to invest in cycling infrastructure. I'm not suggesting as intensive as the driving license, just a single day course and that is it. 

Removing the holier than thou attitude some cyclists have and changing their behavior is probably the easiest and quickest way to save lives. When a cyclist dies because a lorry was turning left at a junction my initial reaction is "why were they there". If someone jumped off a cliff into the sea for a buzz and died would you blame their stupidity or the cliff and sea?

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We should double MP's pay

MP's pay is in the news at the moment with members of the house due to get a tasty 11% pay increase (along with some expenses rule changes). This is a thorny issue, cuts and pay freezes are in force throughout the public sector and they would struggle to justify any pay increase.

Except they have no involvement at all in the process. Independent Parliamentary Standards Authority (IPSA) was created in 2009 in response to the expenses scandal. They regulate the expenses system and MP's pay, meaning our elected members wouldn't be voting on their own pay rises again. Of course this seems great when you assume they just want to line their pockets but not so much now they want to stop the pay increase but can't do anything about it.

Some have said they will refuse the increase but as this would technically be illegal they would have to change the law to make it happen. You might think this is a good idea but you would be wrong, that would set a precedent. Whenever a decision came out from the IPSA that parliament didn't like they could change the law to change the outcome. Any attempt to undermine the IPSA's decision would mean it's creation was pointless. But I have a radical solution.

I would double MP's salaries, I'll just let that sink in for a moment because I am serious, we double their salary. The reason being is that the best minds in the country don't go into politics because they can earn so much more elsewhere. It would explain the number of millionaires in parliament, they don't need to earn the big bucks and can do a job of their choosing. 

Alongside this mammoth pay increase I would halve the number of MP's. Whilst also doing the same with ministerial jobs, not the front bench roles obviously but there are now so many junior ministerial positions there must be some pruning that can be made. As with everything in life quality is better than quantity. The increased salary will attract more bright minds to parliament, improving the quality of work done and subsequently our quality of life.

Less is more

Lastly I would set up a block of managed apartments for the now far smaller group of MP's. I know this would be a terrorist target but with them all in one place security would be easier to arrange. Somewhere comfortable, good internet and close to the office, that's all they need.

This will obviously never happen. But whatever we think of our not so honourable members we can't put pressure on them to change this IPSA decision. If they had said no to a pay rise and MP's got involved you would be screaming about their involvement in an independent body.

UPDATE: As one reader pointed out second jobs should also be banned for sitting MP's under this arrangement. In all honesty I think that should be the case now. HT @pcaschere

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In the 80's the Tories were right, the ANC were terrorists

Despite already apologising for the description of Mandela and the ANC as terrorists in 2006 Dan Hodges wants David Cameron to do it again. To do so would be wrong, firstly because it would seem like an attention seeking move and secondly, more importantly, they were terrorists in the 80's.

The rate at which history books are being revised is scary indeed. News outlets referring to Mandela as a "political prisoner" when Amnesty refused such a title because of the violence he helped organise and refused to denounce. Well during the 80's the military side of the ANC that he co-founded (the MK) were hard at work and here are just some of the highlights.

Church Street bombing, 20th of May 1983

A car bomb attack that killed 20 and wounded 217. This was one of their largest attacks in the ANC's campaign again's Apartheid. Was this terrorism? Well while the number of civilian vs military deaths & injuries was unclear the truth and reconciliation commission but the estimates at 7 dead and 84 injured for the military. Meaning you were far more likely to die if you were an innocent than a legitimate target.

Amanzimtoti Shopping complex, December 23rd 1985

During the peak of the Christmas shopping season, MK member Andrew Sibusiso Zondo detonated a bomb in a rubbish bin at the Sanlam shopping centre. Two women and three children were killed in the blast and more than forty were injured.

Roodepoort Standard Bank, June 3rd 1988

The target had not been civilians but a police station nearby but something went wrong, or so they say. The ANC gave no explanation for what happened. 4 people were killed with 18 injuries.

The debate continued on Twitter with Mr Hodges in debate with others on the subject of the ANC and terrorism. He believes that because there was no democracy then the ANC weren't terrorists. I disagree and while there is no international consensus on the definition this sums it up pretty well.

"The unofficial or unauthorized use of violence and intimidation in the pursuit of political aims"

So while you could argue that a group engage in terrorist acts for justifiable reasons you could still say that that terrorist acts are being committed. Further to that it is my personal opinion that any group targeting the public deliberately are terrorists. Sure if a political or military Apartheid base got bombed civilians would be killed as well but the intent is to attack the enemy. Instead, in one example, they kill three innocent children out Christmas shopping.

Judging what you describe terrorism because of what the goals of the group are is dangerous. It means that the acts themselves are inconsequential and there is no line for them to worry about crossing.

Mandela could have ended the violence sooner by denouncing it's use as a political weapon, this would have also meant he would have been released from prison earlier but he refused. So next time the Tories are pressed on their 80's stance they would do well to give an answer rather than meekly backing away into a corner saying sorry.

For all Mandela's rights and wrongs one thing scares me. He has been a figurehead, his unity dream that he emerged from prison with (be it genuine or coldly calculated) is now gone. Without it the ANC are free from those shackles and they are well versed in using violence to achieve their goals. 

When Zuma was elected I remember a real fear that he would become the next Mugabe. Well the sight of him and Winnie Mandela side by side and smiling at the weekend should have us all deeply concerned for the future of South Africa.

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Nelson Mandela was no saint

Twitter exploded last night with the news of Nelson Mandela's death with people competing for the most sycophantic tribute. The all too familiar "I'm so upset by this" bleatings of people desperate to show just how upset they are that someone they didn't know has died. This is always pathetic and in this case made worse by either the ignorance or selective memory of some people.

Firstly I am not a Mandela hater or anything like that. He lived a remarkable life and did achieve a lot of good. Although exactly how much is open for debate given the current state of South Africa and for a supposed socialist (the lefties are working hard to claim him as one of their own) he managed to die a rich man while people starve in his country.

Young people in this country today seem to think he was locked up for purely political reasons. That the Apartheid government hated a black man with a high profile challenging their views and well, they probably did. But the reason he was locked up was the guilty plea for the 156 violent attacks, including bombings, he planned. This was a man who refused to renounce violence and Amnesty even refused to take his case;

“[the] movement recorded that it could not give the name of ‘Prisoner of Conscience’ to anyone associated with violence, even though as in ‘conventional warfare’ a degree of restraint may be exercised”

There is more as well, including some support for dictators (well he was a lefty) and more. An excellent blog by Backbencher gives the highlights. My point is that you can't choose the parts of history you like the best and ignore the rest, imagine if people said, and actually meant, the following.

"Hitler was a genius who turned around Germany's failing economy"

Was Nelson Mandela a great man? Well he did achieve great things but that doesn't make you a great man. Maybe he gets a free ride on his past because of what he was fighting against. Apartheid was disgusting but does that make the deaths of so many innocents ok? Especially given these weren't people working at a legitimate target but bombs placed in public places deliberately, Johannesburg railway station for example.

By only remembering parts of history and not all of it  we are doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past. This what you want of Mandela but Gandhi he wasn't, lets not deify someone with so much blood on their hands. 

What he did wrong in life is as important as what he did right.

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The great foodbank giveaway

Ah yes, foodbanks one kind of bank Labour seem to love. Lazily throwing in questions at PMQ's about them to incite nothing more than class war. They don't want a proper debate on why people are using them and if in fact they need to use them.

Before you accuse me of speaking without any knowledge on this subject I should stop you. I do have first hand experience of this area but if I outline what that is my identity may be revealed and I don't want that. 

I blame perception. People seem to think that non-essential items are now a basic entitlement, something that we all must have. Well people need to get over it, fast. If I had my way anyone wanting to use a foodbank would have to have a meeting, in their home, with someone to advise on finances. Someone who could tell them where they can cut back to help afford food because all the time you give people something for free why would they try to afford it? Here are the things I would look at cutting back before giving anyone free food.

Alcohol & Tobacco

The most common substances that people get annoyed about with regards to anyone on benefits or getting a handout. Quite simply if you say you can't afford food but buy either of these things you are pathetic. And if you have kids doing this and saying you can't afford food then you are guilty of child neglect in my opinion.

Smart Phones

Another common accessory for the financially challenged. No matter how things get you have to have an iPhone with angry birds installed. Really? Two points here, you do not need a mobile phone, you think you do but you don't. It is still a nice to have item, not a necessity. If you don't have a land-line at home then one pay as you go, on a basic handset, will work fine. 

Internet

I can hear the anguished cries of you all from here. You do not need the internet to survive. You may be use to 24/7 online access but you will cope just fine without. Even if you don't get rid of it completely you could switch onto a cheaper service. For example if you have a high speed fibre optic line then change to basic broadband. Remember the library will have free internet for you, just avoid porn, they don't like that.......so I'm told.

Paid TV

All you need is freeview, anything more is a luxury. I don't care what you like to watch on what channel. Are Charlie's Angels reruns better than food?

Does he need a foodbank?

A couple of tips for you. Shop around, not in the "what supermarket does the best deal for my weekly shop", I mean look at certain items and go to several shops. The majority of my shop is in Tesco but we also use Iceland and Lidl for specific items. Doing this can save you quite a bit over time. And finally, eat cheaply. Lots of rice, pasta and such like. The one time in my life I was unemployed for a length of time me and my partner managed fine on her modest salary. Sure it was boring food, but we ate.

If someone made all these cutbacks and savings yet still struggled then I would say that they needed a foodbank. I would expect that kind of situation may be hard to find.

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