Friday, 22 November 2013

On your marks, get set......... Fuck Off Beaker!

You just aren't cool unless you have played Beaker races on twitter. It's a simple game yet carries intense competition bitter rivalries. But before that I should explain the rules.

It all started with a likeness. Ed Miliband, second in command of the Labour party behind Len McCluskey, has the look of Beaker, the startled scientist from the Muppet show. They sound alike as well, that irritating whine that bores into your brain making you want to shoot yourself, Beaker does it too.
Ed addresses the Labour party conference

The race started the moment @Ed_Miliband tweets and the winner has to comment first with the simple line "Fuck off Beaker". The sport has been dominated by one man, @Skip_Licker, and he shows no signs of releasing his crown. Just this week he bagged 4 in a row

@WollMcHoebag Is the great pretender to the crown, bagging a few wins along the way. More often than not though he ends up feeling like this.

I want you all to challenge Skip's dominance in this mightiest of events because, to be honest, Skip's a twat. Like Vettel he is lucky, not brilliant, and I want to see him lose! However I see this as a growing sport and have some suggestions on how to extend the franchise.

Ball bagging - Whenever @edballsmp tweets reply with his most famous tweet content in return, simply "Ed Balls".

Flabbott baiting - Whenever @HackneyAbbott tweets reply first with "Would you like chips with that?"

And finally, Jonesing - When @OwenJones84 tweets say what you like, you're probably blocked. 

Got any good game suggestions? Put the details in the comments and lets have a laugh.


  1. lol ! approval ! ! ! ! humph ! ! !

  2. I dont really get this. Surely Danny Alexander is the origional Beaker? Ed M looks more like a nerdy panda

  3. to maintain a level of political neutrality akin to the Swiss, i quite like a game of fuck off dish face too

  4. Don't forget Maria Miller "You just dont get it, do you?"

  5. The new "Fuck Off Beaker" and "Fuck Off Dishface" membership cards are available on twitter. Ask Skip.